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27 April 2003 @ 12:32 pm
I just got this email:

I just found my name and homepage link on a feeder list, and yours along with over 50 others is there, too. I am not into feeding, so I was very upset about this!

Upset is not the word. I am so fucking ANGRY I am crying in frustration.

For those of you who are not familiar with the terms, "feeders" are a small niche of men (I say this because I've never seen a woman be a feeder, whether in a het or lesbian relationship) within the size acceptance community who, in my opinion and many others', are sick, manipulative abusers. Their goal is to find a woman, preferably already somewhat fat, and convince her to gain even more weight. They pray on the woman's insecurities, telling her how much more beautiful they'd find her if she was heavier, and they get a sexual thrill out of seeing her eat or literally feeding her. They enjoy seeing the woman become fatter and fatter, until she is so fat that she is completely dependent on the man for everything - she cannot walk, bathe herself, go out in public. And these twisted bastards have the utter gall to claim that this is love. It is not love - it is all about control and power, and I think of it as akin to rape, because the motivations are similar - the only differences being that this situation is, sadly, consented to by the woman (although I think that considering the manipulation this point is up for debate) and is ongoing. It is like many other types of abuse, where the woman may say that she wants it, or sees no problem with it, but I've known of women who have died because of feeding.

I've been approached by feeders many times in the past and told them all that I think they are sick assholes and I want nothing to do with them. I thank my lucky stars that while I have my insecurities, I have never been to the point where I would be with any man just because I couldn't stand to be alone and therefore might have ended up with a feeder.

So, onto this fucking bastard:
He has my name listed on his site, with my age, his guess at my weight, and a link to my website, which can be found as part of a list of many other women, under a link that has a US flag next to the words "Fattening Females." He appears to be German, and there are a number of pages I can't read on his site, but considering that the ones I can read are making me ill, that's really okay. If any of you in Germany would like to go and personally kick his arse, be my guest. I'm really not normally the violent type, but I believe I can make an exception here.

Please type in the beginning of the URL to go to the site - I don't want him seeing my LJ as referring people: geocities.com/robih2001/ - this the site. Now, I've emailed him telling him to remove the information about me, but the woman who wrote me said that she'd done so and he'd ignored her. I believe I could complain to Yahoo/Geocities, but is there anything else I can do?

I don't know if the majority of you can understand why this is so horrifying to me, but the idea that I am being labeled a feedee, and my boyfriend must therefore be a feeder, is just... there are no words.
I feel: enragedenraged
kissaki on April 27th, 2003 10:57 am (UTC)

Morri, this makes me sick. I am absolutely furious on your behalf! How dare he make such two dimensional assumptions about you and your private life?! There are some very sick people out there and you are very right to complain to Geocities. The man is practically giving out your personal information, and I would also be extremely pissed off. Do what you need to do to get this creep taken out, man. That is just not on! >:o!
Vicki: All is woehermorrine on April 27th, 2003 08:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks Alex - I appreciate it, and I have sent in a complaint to Geocities.
oddree on April 27th, 2003 11:01 am (UTC)
OMG. I am absolutely horrified that this actually goes on.
The world is getting scarier and scarier every single day.

Robert Werner Hanke of
In den Biegen 9, 60437 Frankfurt, Germany --you are one sick fuck.

If he refuses to take your name of his email list, threaten to send an email to all his referees (he's looking for a job).

I'm just sorry that you have to deal with this sort of asshole Morri. People shouldn't randomly have to put up with this sort of shit from random strangers.


Vicki: MWAHhermorrine on April 27th, 2003 08:43 pm (UTC)
Re: Horrified
Yeah, it's amazing the things that go on that so many people never know about. -.- Thank you for being so supportive. *hugs*
queerasjohn on April 27th, 2003 11:05 am (UTC)
I am...speechless.
Vicki: Where my heart ishermorrine on April 27th, 2003 08:44 pm (UTC)
I cannot help but laugh at how perfect your icon is for this whole situation. *clings*
queen_aeval on April 27th, 2003 11:06 am (UTC)

I vote for all of us going to Germany and forming some sort of angry death-mob. I cannot imagine the grotesque perversion of this man's mind, or that of others like him. Women of any size are not here to be used, controlled or manipulated by sick men who want to feel superior.

I would definitely report him to yahoo/geocities or wherever his site is hosted. I'm not sure if it will do any good, as I'm not brushed up on internet laws, but for him to post information about you and other women without permission is not at all acceptable in any case, let alone the purpose he is insinuating.

*hugs* Don't let bastards like that win! We all support you!
Vicki: All is woehermorrine on April 27th, 2003 08:47 pm (UTC)
He thinks he knows about internet law, and frankly, my one course in it is not enough for me to know if he's right. But I've filed my complaint all the same. Thanks for the support!
infinitus on April 27th, 2003 11:13 am (UTC)
Oh God, Morri.

How utterly and completely horrific. This is objectification and violation in one of its sickest forms. It has nothing to do with the size of those women and everything to do with how manipulative those men are. What a pathetic, abusive fuck.

As others have said, I'd complain to Yahoo Geocities. I also saw on his resume the email address of those he had listed as references. I bet they'd like to know what kind of twisted asshole they've agreed to act as a reference for.

I wonder if praetorianguard might be able to advise you about what other actions you can take?

Vicki: MWAHhermorrine on April 27th, 2003 08:50 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you. I have sent in a complaint to Geocities, so we can hope they will respond. Of course, that won't keep him from just finding hosting elsewhere and doing it all over again...

And I don't know if praetorianguard can really offer me legal advice... that whole being-a-lawyer thing can be tricky, so I won't ask - she can offer if it's in her power to do so.
dinahrae on April 27th, 2003 11:16 am (UTC)

D00d, yes, you can all come over and pile up in my place, and then we got and kick his ass. It's surprising how often my nice 3 inch heels boots come in handy. What an asshole.
Vicki: MWAHhermorrine on April 27th, 2003 08:51 pm (UTC)
I have to admit, the idea of you or Heike or Toby showing up at his doorstep and telling him off is amusing me a great deal, even if it won't ever happen.
cygnusfap on April 27th, 2003 11:26 am (UTC)
I too am shocked. I definitely recommend you complain to Geocities about this. I really had no idea that this sort of thing went on at all. :hugs:
Vicki: Where my heart ishermorrine on April 27th, 2003 08:54 pm (UTC)
Yes, I've sent in the complaint - we'll see what they do with it. *hugs*

And look, I've stolen your icon idea - hope you don't mind.
oddree on April 27th, 2003 11:35 am (UTC)
Anyone have a fax machine?

He obviously doesn't care about giving out his contact details on line. Feel free to fax him to death. Bastard.

fax-no: +49 6101 541361
intellectual peppery: :-oeleveninches on April 27th, 2003 11:38 am (UTC)
intellectual pepperyeleveninches on April 27th, 2003 11:39 am (UTC)
Vicki: You are standing on my last nervehermorrine on April 27th, 2003 08:56 pm (UTC)
I don't think Toby lives that close to Frankfurt. :((
Improbable Girlstarcrossedgirl on April 27th, 2003 11:43 am (UTC)
Vicki: All is woehermorrine on April 27th, 2003 08:57 pm (UTC)
*also fumes*
Teesside Snog Monster: blankjiggery_pokery on April 27th, 2003 12:07 pm (UTC)
Looking at the Geocities Terms of Service, this would cross 5(a) and 5(l):

5. [...]You agree to not use the Service to:

(a) upload, post or otherwise transmit any Content that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable;

(l) "stalk" or otherwise harass another;


23. Please report any violations of the TOS to our Content Violation Reporting Form.

Anything else you can do? Nothing springs to mind immediately.
Nico Coernicocoer on April 27th, 2003 12:11 pm (UTC)
you and the other women on the site should sue his ass. I don't know the German laws on such things though. am not lawyer.

How ever, at the least, report his site to Geocities AND Yahoo. if at all possible. YOu would not only be helping your self, but helping others as well.


TAKE A CHANCE YOU STUPID HOE.sincelastjuly on April 27th, 2003 12:28 pm (UTC)
Report them to Yahoo, though last time I did that, it took them like two weeks to respond. You might be able to press criminal charges for refusing to remove your info after you asked, but I'm not a law expert so I'm not sure.
Clio, a vibrating mass of YES!: Clio Dollyjlh on April 27th, 2003 01:04 pm (UTC)
God, Morri, this is just so . . . ugh. I have no words. Many hugs. I'm horrified that this happened, it's disgusting beyond belief.

Hang in there, or [insert less banal statement of support here]. We've got your back.
Vicki: All is woehermorrine on April 27th, 2003 09:04 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thanks for your support, Clio - I really appreciate it.