I just found my name and homepage link on a feeder list, and yours along with over 50 others is there, too. I am not into feeding, so I was very upset about this!
Upset is not the word. I am so fucking ANGRY I am crying in frustration.
For those of you who are not familiar with the terms, "feeders" are a small niche of men (I say this because I've never seen a woman be a feeder, whether in a het or lesbian relationship) within the size acceptance community who, in my opinion and many others', are sick, manipulative abusers. Their goal is to find a woman, preferably already somewhat fat, and convince her to gain even more weight. They pray on the woman's insecurities, telling her how much more beautiful they'd find her if she was heavier, and they get a sexual thrill out of seeing her eat or literally feeding her. They enjoy seeing the woman become fatter and fatter, until she is so fat that she is completely dependent on the man for everything - she cannot walk, bathe herself, go out in public. And these twisted bastards have the utter gall to claim that this is love. It is not love - it is all about control and power, and I think of it as akin to rape, because the motivations are similar - the only differences being that this situation is, sadly, consented to by the woman (although I think that considering the manipulation this point is up for debate) and is ongoing. It is like many other types of abuse, where the woman may say that she wants it, or sees no problem with it, but I've known of women who have died because of feeding.
I've been approached by feeders many times in the past and told them all that I think they are sick assholes and I want nothing to do with them. I thank my lucky stars that while I have my insecurities, I have never been to the point where I would be with any man just because I couldn't stand to be alone and therefore might have ended up with a feeder.
So, onto this fucking bastard:
He has my name listed on his site, with my age, his guess at my weight, and a link to my website, which can be found as part of a list of many other women, under a link that has a US flag next to the words "Fattening Females." He appears to be German, and there are a number of pages I can't read on his site, but considering that the ones I can read are making me ill, that's really okay. If any of you in Germany would like to go and personally kick his arse, be my guest. I'm really not normally the violent type, but I believe I can make an exception here.
Please type in the beginning of the URL to go to the site - I don't want him seeing my LJ as referring people: geocities.com/robih2001/ - this the site. Now, I've emailed him telling him to remove the information about me, but the woman who wrote me said that she'd done so and he'd ignored her. I believe I could complain to Yahoo/Geocities, but is there anything else I can do?
I don't know if the majority of you can understand why this is so horrifying to me, but the idea that I am being labeled a feedee, and my boyfriend must therefore be a feeder, is just... there are no words.