Vicki (hermorrine) wrote,

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I've been thinking... scary.

Someone told me recently that they think that while my LJ is truly representative of the person I am, I only seem deeper once you actually talk to me. So I suppose that's part of the reason I'm posting this. I'm not certain what the other part of the reason is yet.

I have decidedly mixed feelings about VD. Perhaps they come partially from the fact that those are my initials, and when you share your initials with veneral disease you'll look for almost anything else to make that better. And yes, that was meant for a laugh, but I can't tell you how many times I've had my initials snickered at. But I digress already.

I like Valentine's Day, the idea of it anyway. The problem is what most people have often said - it's too forced. It's like this annual day of You Must Be Romantic NOW and there's pressure. I've had a number of VDs in my past where I was partnered, and I got cards and a couple of gifts, even, and what I remember about each of those times was that they didn't seem the least bit sincere. This caused me to wonder if it was Valentine's Day itself that was the problem, or the person in question, and I'm going to say both, but leaning towards the person.

I'm sure that some of you may have guessed by now that I'm not the ice queen I wish I was. I like to poo-poo romance and all of that, but the truth is, I do that because I've never really experienced it personally. I've seen others experience it, so I know it exists, but it's almost like a scientific experiment that way. I have X observed cases and 0 actual cases (good grief my work is spilling into my LJ! Shoot me!).

I think the problem with Valentine's Day is that people expect - either that they must make or their partner must make - the Grand Romantic Gesture. You know what I'm talking about - the huge bouquets of roses, the incredible evening out, the jewelry, etc, etc, etc. But to my mind, those aren't the things that would be truly romantic, and that's why Valentine's Day, while a nice idea, doesn't really work.

So what do I think would be romantic? The little things. Really. Like texting or emailing someone just to say "I'm thinking about you." Sending a card for no reason whatsoever. Giving one flower in the person's favorite color or type. A handwritten note. A phone call or even a voicemail. Why? Because almost anyone can make a Grand Romantic Gesture - all it takes is some money, usually. It doesn't typically require much thought, and that's what romance really is - it's showing that you are thinking about someone, that you care. That you've noticed what their favorite X is and have gone to the trouble on a Wednesday in April to get it for them. That you stayed up hours later than you normally would because you wanted to talk to them. That you made an effort beyond something that can be measured materially.

All that said, you'll probably think me horribly contradictory because I have sent some valentines, but they are all for specific people and specific reasons. In actuality, only one of them is truly meant as anything vaguely romantic - the rest are all simply for people I care about, and because I do send things randomly for no particular reason as well, I don't see a problem in joining in on Valentine's Day as well.

Also, I'll tell you a little secret - I've always loved things with hearts on them. It's totally silly and I can't explain it, but even now I am attracted to things with hearts. I bought a candle holder with hearts etched on it the other day. So VD is good for heart stuff.

I remembered something that I promised to tobymalfoy on my way home from work and my heart about stopped, because I think he will try to collect over Morri!Weekend if he remembers. :(( Oh hell, I think I promised the same thing to queerasjohn. They will gang up on me. I. Am. Doomed.

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