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02 August 2005 @ 02:48 pm
Lonely, I guess.  
For some reason I'm suddenly lonely today. The fact that I've been single for just about a year is hitting me. I hate that it matters, you know? I should be okay on my own. I'm not supposed to need anyone else. And yet I want someone in my life. But after having recently been shown yet again that I am not lovable, it's a bit hard to want to do anything about it or to even know what to do. I'm tired of being hurt and lied to and betrayed and thinking I'm over the past only to have those wounds ripped wide open again. I'm getting old and I'm too fat and I'm just tired of being alone.
I feel: morosemorose
dejaspirit on August 2nd, 2005 08:20 pm (UTC)
*hugs you* You are very lovable. And these things take time. (Might wanna f-lock this, babe).
Vicki: Hermione GOF - WORRIED by Jenhermorrine on August 2nd, 2005 08:48 pm (UTC)

Why should I friendslock this? I'm past giving a rat's arse what people think. Screw 'em.
Soufflé Girl Wannabe: Womanragdoll on August 2nd, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I know we don't know each other well but believe me, I understand what you're talking about all too well (only I'm now 6 years into my longest period of singlehood ever).

If you ever need to talk/rant/vent, feel free to email me.
Vicki: *SIGH*hermorrine on August 4th, 2005 01:59 am (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you. I just might.
Soufflé Girl Wannaberagdoll on August 4th, 2005 02:28 am (UTC)
My IM name(s) are Nymphadorable or MisfitRagdoll so feel free to ping me if you see me on. :)
Dorothylabellerose on August 2nd, 2005 09:03 pm (UTC)
Vicki: Natalie by amatiahermorrine on August 4th, 2005 01:59 am (UTC)
Selina Kyle: Thinkingselinakyle47 on August 2nd, 2005 09:52 pm (UTC)

We don't know each other very well, but if you're ever up for meeting IRL, I'm game. :)

'Course that doesn't exactly address your situation :\
Vicki: Right.hermorrine on August 4th, 2005 02:01 am (UTC)

I'm definitely up for it - and now that you're out here near me (you have moved already, or did I miss it?) it'll be even easier. We'll have to figure out sometime soon.

And it doesn't address it directly, but I'm sure getting out more would help in general. :)
Selina Kyleselinakyle47 on August 5th, 2005 03:15 am (UTC)
Yup, we've been out here in Palatine for about 2 weeks now. Weekends are still pretty busy with the unpacking and all, but yeah, sometime this month should work for me. :D
Vickihermorrine on August 5th, 2005 07:08 pm (UTC)
Okay, no rush! Urgh on moving - we have to find a new place in the next 10 days or stay here for another year. Blech, I hate moving...
lizardlaugh on August 2nd, 2005 10:45 pm (UTC)

You know, no matter how strong we are sometimes, it *is* nice to have someone. It doesn't make you weak or unloveable. And you are not too old or too fat! The happiest couples I have met recently are people who found one another in their forties and beyond... and none of them are tight hardbodies.
Vicki: Cleavage is good.hermorrine on August 4th, 2005 02:03 am (UTC)

You're absolutely right, on all points... it's just hard to keep that in mind sometimes, you know?

Heh, maybe I need to wear that stuff more often...
Loony Loopy Lea Lovegood: Hugs (doggies)chickadilly on August 2nd, 2005 11:32 pm (UTC)
Vicki: Puppy!hermorrine on August 4th, 2005 02:03 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Vicki: Umbrellahermorrine on August 4th, 2005 02:05 am (UTC)
Awww, thanks.

Relationships really do suck. And yet I still want one. Blech.

Jordan Catalano: Sadprettyveela on August 3rd, 2005 01:13 am (UTC)
*hugs* Nobody better har har you because of this entry! The nike imprint on the sole of my shoe will be a permanent tattoo on their ass.
Vicki: Brendan hhhhot!hermorrine on August 4th, 2005 02:06 am (UTC)
Re: Rawr
*hugs* I don't think anyone has, but if they do, I'll be sure you know about it so you can take inappropriate measures.
Latter-day Jezebelnmalfoy on August 3rd, 2005 04:08 am (UTC)
I'm feeling that way myself. Too bad we aren't closer so we can bitch together.
Vicki: *CLINGS*hermorrine on August 4th, 2005 02:06 am (UTC)
I know. Why are friends always so far away when you need them??
meg: heartmeggitymeg on August 3rd, 2005 01:44 pm (UTC)
*hugs tight* Been there. And you *are too* lovable!
Vicki: Brokenhermorrine on August 4th, 2005 02:07 am (UTC)
*hugs back* I know you have. I'm glad you think so - I just wish that someone nice, kind and male who has a heart himself could see it.
Teesside Snog Monster: southparkjiggery_pokery on August 3rd, 2005 05:36 pm (UTC)
All this and you make good icons too!
You are strong enough to contemplate the most difficult changes you could make to your life and get through them.

You are responsible, looking after more than yourself when others around you cannot cope as well as they might.

You are not just smart but highly capable - RS hasn't got to where it is today (the Boardwalk of fanfic sites!) without good leadership under your tenure.

You are daring, open-minded, sexy and inspirational. That on its own is enough to stop you from being alone, in time.

You are hard-working and caring. You are good at your job, which is why they treat you so well, and you made it through the times when they were treating you much less well.

You don't give up. You are getting more and more capable, and things are going to get better still over time.

You rock hard. :-)
Vicki: Kate by Sophiehermorrine on August 4th, 2005 02:09 am (UTC)
Re: All this and you make good icons too!
Thanks for saying all of this. I'll have to come back and read it whenever I get down. Not that it fixes everything - or that you would expect it to - but it does help. Now if I could just meet someone who agreed with you on even half of those points...
Teesside Snog Monster: bostonducksjiggery_pokery on August 5th, 2005 06:44 pm (UTC)
Re: All this and you make good icons too!
The other thing I forgot to say, but really do mean, is that you are trustworthy. That goes a long way, too.