Rage and other such things.

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05 July 2005 @ 09:43 pm

I'm not a person who deals well with anger. I unfortunately have good reason to blame that on my upbringing, where being yelled at or called names or otherwise verbally abused by a constantly angry parent was pretty much a daily occurence. My solution to this as an adult has been to a) not get angry at all, for fear of acting in just that sort of abusive manner towards someone else, or b) blow up beyond all recognition because I've held the anger inside for too long. The point here is that I came very, very close to doing something to someone else that I would most likely have regretted (...eventually), but luckily

eibbil_libbie was able to talk me down from the tower. * ♥ 's her Libbie* But sometimes, I think the fact that I am generally a fairly easygoing person also makes people think they can screw me over or take advantage of me without any sort of accounting for their behavior. I think that those people - and they know who they are - should be a bit more cautious. And that's all I'm saying about that.

In other annoying things, I am put out on behalf of every bisexual man I've ever known because of this lame-ass excuse for a scientific study. I'm sorry, but in what universe is physicial response the end-all be-all of attraction?! I know it's not in mine.

I finished a most excellent book last night. It was so good that it took me just over a day to read. Suspense and mystery with a touch of horror - really well done. I must find more by these authors.

I also need to thank

nowastedspace for my wonderful new LJ layout! I gave her the pics and the lyrics - she made it work. ♥ !!!!

I feel: cynical

cynical

17 clear notes | Sing to me

17 clear notes —

( 17 clear notes — Sing to me )

eibbil_libbie on July 5th, 2005 10:42 pm (UTC)

*blush*

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hermorrine on July 5th, 2005 11:23 pm (UTC)

*HUGS*

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anemonerose on July 5th, 2005 10:46 pm (UTC)

I like the layout! Very nice color scheme. :)

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hermorrine on July 5th, 2005 11:23 pm (UTC)

Thanks!

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piperki on July 5th, 2005 11:00 pm (UTC)

You can borrow my Lego sword. It works great for alerting people to their Wrongness.

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hermorrine on July 5th, 2005 11:24 pm (UTC)

So tempting, but I'd better not. ;)

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jlh on July 5th, 2005 11:10 pm (UTC)

Not just physical response, but physical response to porn, which generally features only one sort of physical type for each sex. I really don't find the women in mainstream porn generally attractive. (However, I do have lust in my heart for a girl at work with hips like a goddess.) I'm not all that into the men in porn either—straight or gay. The straight porn men I don't think are supposed to be attractive anyway, but the men in bi/gay porn? Their buff, waxed bodies upset me. It's like they're all airbrushed or something.

I liked the rebuttals at the end of the article. This shit just gets political way too quickly, you know? I hate it when people are all, yeah, you don't know your own mind. Well, I might not, but you sure as hell don't, bucko.

I have such a guilty conscience. Every time people speak in the voice of doom I am driven to a quick inventory of my own behaviour even though someplace I know it isn't me. I think, oh, was it that entry about my cat? *is lame*

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hermorrine on July 5th, 2005 11:27 pm (UTC)

Another excellent point. And even if you do happen to like the porn-type people, who says that you will always respond? What if you had a bad day and what you really want is a lover who will cuddle and pet you, not slam you into the headboard? It's too cut and dried, too black and white.

You aren't lame - I'd probably be thinking the same thing. I would name names if I could, but I can definitely tell you that it is SO not you. >:D<

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jlh on July 5th, 2005 11:37 pm (UTC)

I have to say, one thing that vaguely disturbed me a bit in Marta's post was that reply to you that he's trying to find out "what people are, not what they identify as". Given the politics around race and self-identification, that hit just a little bit to close to home. Also, I would say that ultimately finding a scientific way to classify sexuality will prove to be just as slippery as race. And I certainly wouldn't want someone telling me what I am. That's the point of adulthood: you get to decide. It has consequences, sure, but you still get to decide.

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hermorrine on July 5th, 2005 11:43 pm (UTC)

Funny you mention that - I'm actually replying to that comment right now. And I wholeheartedly agree with you. Granted, I haven't dealt with the race issue as you have, but I've been told repeatedly from the first time I told someone I was bi that I really wasn't. And I'm really not putting up with that shit anymore, and no one else should have to, either.

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selinakyle47 on July 6th, 2005 04:56 am (UTC)

Hmmm...interesting study. While

jlh is right, that porn isn't the most accurate measure of the attractiveness of one sex or the other, it's a good way to generate a quantifiable, physiological sexual response (as opposed to filling out psych surveys).

I'd like to see what the results would've been like in women. I'd guess that you'd see more of a variety of responses.

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hermorrine on July 7th, 2005 12:30 am (UTC)

I suppose, but I still don't like it. Attraction is a lot more complicated that what does or doesn't make a guy hard.

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cheshire23 on July 6th, 2005 09:27 am (UTC)

Oh jeez....*eyeroll*

My husband and I are both bisexual, and don't mind porn when it's worth looking at (which is, admittedly, quite rare). I could see him having a similar result on a study like that because of the sadly-typical female porn models that were probably used - probably some that are way too skinny (if we can break 'em with two fingers, neither of us is going to be interested!), some with obviously artificial tits, etc. Not being turned on by conventionally too-skinny, airbrushed, siliconed women != not being turned on by women at all. (Most of the bisexual men I know seem to prefer midsized BBWs when they go for women. YMMV of course.)

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hermorrine on July 7th, 2005 12:32 am (UTC)

I totally hear you. I much prefer real women with boobs and butts myself! The the two bi men I've known the best were both into BBWs, so...

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cheshire23 on July 11th, 2005 02:01 pm (UTC)

There's also that whole problem of some skinny women in porn falling into that lovely "18 and looks 13" category. *squicksquickEW!*

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lissannej on July 6th, 2005 10:20 am (UTC)

*hugs* I'm sorry you've been so upset. Am here if you need an ear ♥

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hermorrine on July 7th, 2005 12:32 am (UTC)

*hugs*

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