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24 March 2005 @ 01:51 pm
If you think this post is about you, you're probably right.  
Thanks so much for disabling comments on your post about me where you even mentioned my LJ name, you coward. You'll notice that this post has comments enabled AND I haven't mentioned your name because I have a sense of what's proper. Yes, you have a right to your opinion, but that's all it is. The last time I looked, you worked in a bloody computer store, not a doctor's office, and you haven't seen or really talked to me in at least 5 years, so you'll forgive me if your opinions on my health, my body, or my personal decisions don't mean jack shit. I find it really insulting that although I have mentioned the fact that this decision took me YEARS to come to and was extremely difficult, you've made it sound like it's a complete lark and I've just decided between getting a cup of coffee or a cup of tea. Weight loss surgery or continuing my current miserable existence? *thinks for 3 seconds* WLS it is!

I've done more research than you can possibly imagine. I'm GOOD at research - it's what I bloody DO FOR A LIVING. I work for the LARGEST HEALTHCARE DATA COMPANY IN THIS COUNTRY. Do you have ANY idea at the statistics on WLS surgery I've got easy access to?! And this is REAL data - it's not propaganda from a surgeon's office or someone else trying to make money off me or anyone else. It's REAL data including complication and morbidity rates. I know exactly what I'm getting into, not to mention I've been part of a support group for over 2 years now and watched the progress of numerous other people at various years out from their surgeries.

I'm sorry you think I should spend the rest of my life dying from the myriad of health problems I have, unable to walk, unable to do the many things both personal and career-oriented I would like to do, all because of my weight. I'm sorry you think I should continue the way I am and end up losing my limbs to diabetes or end up on disability because I can no longer work. You know, you're right - I could end up having complications or dying. It's certainly possible. But quite frankly, after what I've been through in the past few years as my health has continued to deteriorate, the choice was EASY. I would rather die than continue to live like this. THIS IS NOT LIVING.

The truly sad thing is that I don't really think you care all that much about my health or well-being. I think you're upset because, even though it's been years since we've been involved and I'm not interested in ever being involved with you again, I will lose weight and you will no longer find me attractive. Even more sad is that you don't seem to get that I will never be thin and I'm fine with that. I'm not doing this to try and turn into Angelina Jolie, for fuck's sake. I'm a big girl and I always will be - I'm just going to lose enough weight that my health and mobility will improve. If I was perfectly healthy with no mobility issues at this weight, I would not even consider doing it. This is not about how I look or vanity - it's about my health and ability to function. And I'm sorry, but no matter how many fat women you have fucked/will fuck, you don't have any insight as to how it REALLY feels to live in a body like this, so don't even TRY to tell me you know what it's like. Gain 250 lbs or so and then we can talk about what it's really like.

I suppose the worst of it is that although I'm an adult and I thought we were friends at one time, you apparently think me incapable of making my own decisions. That's really unfortunate, and I don't think I can be friends with you anymore if this is how you feel. Friends can disagree, certainly, but with the complete lack of respect you've shown? I don't think so.

And I'm done.
I feel: annoyedannoyed
dejaspirit on March 24th, 2005 09:16 pm (UTC)
*applauds wildly!*

Vicki: Chibi!Me Fullhermorrine on March 26th, 2005 12:07 am (UTC)
>:D< <33333333333333333333333333333333
meg: idiotmeggitymeg on March 24th, 2005 10:52 pm (UTC)
Vicki: Kyan - What the...hermorrine on March 26th, 2005 12:08 am (UTC)

morgaina on March 25th, 2005 12:30 am (UTC)
*bows down before the might of Morri*
Vicki: Catherine - CSIhermorrine on March 26th, 2005 12:09 am (UTC)
*snickers* Right. ;)

Davestormwynd on March 25th, 2005 02:49 am (UTC)
If I ever need to remember why I am proud to know you, this post will remind me.

Vicki: *CLINGS*hermorrine on March 26th, 2005 12:07 am (UTC)
That is seriously one of the sweetest things anyone's ever said to me. I got totally teary-eyed when I read it. Thank you.

Life without me is gay and faggoty: that's the hell of ittartpants on March 25th, 2005 04:48 am (UTC)
Man, the person sounds like a twat. Go you. :)
Vicki: Sara short bobhermorrine on March 26th, 2005 12:10 am (UTC)
He didn't used to be - it makes me sad. But I hate it when people make uninformed assumptions about my decisions like they have any business to even have an opinion.

By the way, your icon is scary. *shudders*
Valeriesteelmagnoliaca on April 3rd, 2005 03:37 pm (UTC)
It's Your...
It's your body and no one else but you gets to make decisions about it, Period. Anyone who thinks otherwise it's not your friend, Period.


Vicki: Sara - CSIhermorrine on April 4th, 2005 12:00 am (UTC)
Re: It's Your...
Thanks. I'm sure you know this was in response to a post by J, but I know H has posted similar things about my decision. I find it very sad, considering they don't know me anymore - did they ever? Good question - and know nothing of the process I've gone through or the health problems I've been having. It has been hard for me to decide this, wondering if I was going against the size acceptance movement, but I've realized that I can still believe in the same things AND want to work on being healthier, and this is the only way to do that.
Where there's a will, there's a waykokopoko on May 13th, 2005 12:33 am (UTC)
Hey I'm over here from several friend's ljs. I've been thinking of weight loss surgery for awhile too. I'm 5'4 and 218. Let me know how your recovery is, etc. What type of weight loss surgery are you getting? Good luck! It'll be tough to get used to but it sure will be worth it!
Vicki: Hermione GOF - WORRIED by Jenhermorrine on May 22nd, 2005 08:46 pm (UTC)
Okay - please keep in mind that I am not a medical professional and I don't know anything about your health, but... I really wouldn't have WLS if I was you. Depending on whether you have a small, medium or large build you are either 100 lbs overweight or only 60, and to me personally, that's just not enough to to rearrange your innards - unless you have significant health problems. But your weight, while difficult, should not keep you from living a normal life, and if you exercised or changed your eating habits you could likely lose some weight without going to the extreme of surgery.

I imagine you're surprised by me saying this, but I truly do not believe in everyone having WLS - only people with extreme cases like mine should do it, IMO. To give you some contrast, I want to lose about 250 lbs. There was no way for me to lose that kind of weight without surgical intervention. FWIW, I had the Duodenal Switch procedure. Again, these are simply my opinions and I do encourage you to talk to a physician before you pursue any options. Best wishes.
Where there's a will, there's a waykokopoko on May 22nd, 2005 09:59 pm (UTC)
I have a small build so I'm close to 100 pounds overweight. No significant problems other than an achilles tendon tear that won't seem to heal due to my weight.

I had no idea you had that much to lose! I guess it really was that only last option.

How are you doing this soon after surgery? Can you eat, move, etc?