For some reason I'm suddenly lonely today. The fact that I've been single for just about a year is hitting me. I hate that it matters, you know? I should be okay on my own. I'm not supposed to need anyone else. And yet I want someone in my life. But after having recently been shown yet again that I am not lovable, it's a bit hard to want to do anything about it or to even know what to do. I'm tired of being hurt and lied to and betrayed and thinking I'm over the past only to have those wounds ripped wide open again. I'm getting old and I'm too fat and I'm just tired of being alone.