February 23rd, 2003

Latte

This post is actually serious (and I'm not using the cut tag, either)

It's been a while since I had a good rant on the whole being fat/weight loss thing, and some of you may think I'm going to be awfully hypocritical, since I am trying to lose weight right now. But I think this is very different, because what I am doing is ultimately eating less and exercising more, but here is what I won't ever do.

Despite having a number of doctors over the years suggest I do it.

Despite my father being thrilled with the idea because I am, of course, an embarassment to him.

Despite my own health and mobility issues, because let me tell you, there were some dark, dark days when I very nearly said to hell with it, so what if I die a horrible, painful death, at least there'll be that much less of me to cremate when it happens.

No matter how bad it gets - and I'd like to think I've already reached that bottom and am climbing back out - I am not going to have weight loss surgery.

This article (and thanks to yohannon for the link) is one of the best I've read in years on the subject. It actually tells the truth of what can happen, because believe me, they DON'T tell you the truth when you go to get evaluated for this surgery. Oh sure, they'll tell you that your body is going to change drastically; that you won't be able to eat a lot of foods; that you will have "dumping syndrome" and a whole manner of other consequences. But what they don't tell you is that you could DIE.

This just makes me so angry.

These are the last few lines of that article:
He believes the number of fatalities caused by these operations is higher than most people realize: "Nobody knows how many people have died from this. Nobody wants to."

You know why nobody wants to? Because it's better to be dead than fat. THAT is how most of the world sees it.

Sometimes I really wonder how I've managed to make it to this age at all, with that attitude in the world. But it was a combination of the fact that I was lucky enough to find the size acceptance movement and also the fact that I'm a determined bitch and I will be DAMNED if I'm going to let myself be defeated by the fucked-up attitudes of society at large, let alone the attitudes of people on a more personal level.

The only reason I'm trying to lose weight is because of my health. I'm beautiful, and if you can't see that, it's your loss. But the majority of people are only concerned with what they look like when they do these things, and it's just maddening.

I'm far too old and cynical to think that I can do anything to change society. But if one person reads this and it makes them think twice, or 10 times, before having weight loss surgery, then I can say that I did at least one good thing with my life.
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