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03 October 2003 @ 01:53 pm
On sex with fat women, otherwise known as the sport of hogging  
After I saw the link to this article on tartpants's LJ, I had to post it here, too, because it needs to get out there. These attitudes and behaviors should not be acceptable for anyone. It's utterly reprehensible to me, and I really hope everyone feels the same. If you don't, I'd really love to hear your explanation.

Have I had men like these hit on me? Sure. Have I ever had an experience with one of them? No. Hell no. Believe it or not, I actually have enough self-esteem that any men who were like these were rather easy to spot, and frankly, I have NEVER been so desperate that I was willing. In fact, I always got great joy out of telling these men exactly where they could go (usually to hell while being scraped by sharp objects and then having salt and lemon juice rubbed into their open wounds).

There is definitely an expectation that fat chicks have no standards and will be grateful if you let them have sex with you (you being men). Have I known women like this? Sadly, yes I have. I wish that there were no women that hated themselves that much. Why am I not like that? Sometimes I wonder. I don't have perfect self-esteem; there are times I think I'm disgusting and ugly and hate my body (never my face - I admit it, I think I'm pretty - woohoo look, I'm so vain). But you know, self-esteem is not just about looks, it's about your overall worth as a person. We are more than just our bodies.

In all seriousness, men like these are the ones who give all men a bad name. This is why I've wondered in the past if men were ashamed to be seen with me in public or have me meet their friends and family. As this article illustrates all too clearly, many men still believe that fat women are like mopeds - they're fun to ride until your friends find out.
I feel: infuriatedinfuriated
whimsical ficlet apparatusari_o on October 3rd, 2003 12:04 pm (UTC)
I was amused that these men are so dumb, their sex lives so pathetic, and their morals so bankrupt...

In short - they are hard up - because natural selection is at work.

It is beyond pitiful that they leverage low self esteem to extort blow jobs and as an excuse to treat women like shit. It is also pathetic that they judge women by appearance alone, by body type alone.

But in the end you sow what you reap - and no wonder they have to fucking drink all the time. Cowards.
Clio, a vibrating mass of YES!: Clio Dollyjlh on October 3rd, 2003 12:22 pm (UTC)
Well, really, it's sort of that ugly misogynists date self-esteem impaired fat girls, and cute misogynists date self-esteem impaired thin girls. Because there are plenty of slim girls that get this sort of treatment, too. They're just as denigrated; it's just that the focus of it isn't their weight. The only really important distinction is that these men feel ashamed of the women themselves, rather than parading around the dumb bimbo eye candy and humiliating them in front of their friends.

I thought it was interesting that she said they saw woman as this sort of separate species, unknowable, etc, and that none of them had any women friends. You're right, of course; anyone can spot these guys a mile away. Really pathetic, aren't they?
Pervy Hoodie Fancierdancingrain on October 4th, 2003 02:20 pm (UTC)
That's the kicker... One of my sisters is a recovered anorexic who, at her sickest, used to model. She's had exponentially more bad experiences with men than I have, almost always because she'd begin a relationship thinking the man was interested in her as a person (she's really very fascinating) and discover at some point that the primary way they saw her was as a trophy.

I've often felt glad not to be "traditionally" attractive. I feel pretty able to suss out the utter jerks such as there types who go "hogging." It's sometimes seemed to me even harder for skinny, conventionally attractive people to figure out whether someone is interested in them for the right reasons.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.aome on October 3rd, 2003 12:32 pm (UTC)
*is horrified* Guh. Someone castrate them, please!
God for Harry, Rachet and Saint George!rachet on October 3rd, 2003 01:12 pm (UTC)
I sooo know where you're coming from.

I've actually always had a very healthy sex life. And the men I sleep with love me with all their hearts and respect me as a woman...never once have they had this mentality. I've been approached by these types before and just laughed in their faces.

It's sad.

And yes, my dear...you are gorgeous. (and I've only seen very few pictures of you!)
whimsical ficlet apparatusari_o on October 3rd, 2003 01:21 pm (UTC)
She is even more lovely in real life!
expetesso on October 3rd, 2003 01:26 pm (UTC)
Hear, hear!

The whole mentality of this article makes me sick to my stomach. And I think the writer is quite a bit too gentle in the tone of her distaste. Gah!
whimsical ficlet apparatusari_o on October 3rd, 2003 01:29 pm (UTC)
Well, I can see that if I were writing the article it would either be crucify their nasty hides or keep a very careful even tone...
Clio, a vibrating mass of YES!: Clio Dollyjlh on October 3rd, 2003 01:57 pm (UTC)
I dunno--I think actually that her style does a great job of letting these guys hang themselves. It makes more impact that she is carefully neutral. No one can say, hey, she slandered these guys. She is using their own words.
Teesside Snog Monster: blankjiggery_pokery on October 3rd, 2003 01:55 pm (UTC)
I really can't relate, it just seems so inhumane.

I think you're pretty, too.

She who conquersdebellatrix on October 3rd, 2003 02:15 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, I was so disgusted that I couldn't even finish the article. To be in the "company" of these sub-humans - even if it was via this article - for one more second was unbearable.
Never Trust A Skinny Chef: \>:D/malacite on October 3rd, 2003 04:01 pm (UTC)
I was so horrified that I could barely finish the article. How sickening. I never knew people like this existed. Those people need serious therapy.

You are beautiful. And any guy should be goddamn lucky to even talk to you.

Such assholes. *kicks them hard*
I am the man that makes the bhaji go awaymalachan on October 3rd, 2003 04:03 pm (UTC)
People like that are so, so pathetic. >:(
snarkattack on October 3rd, 2003 05:24 pm (UTC)
Dude, I hear you.

I have a similar situation, but not quite as extreme. I'm very tall (6'2") and therefore I don't date a lot since most (read: 99%) of guys are too intimidated to ask me out. As for me, height isn't an issue for me in the dating world because I'm used to guys being shorter than me. I tend to prefer personality over physicality, and wish they did too. But one day I was talking to a "friend" about guys in general and we were talking about standards, and I mentioned that height wasn't an issue. She said, and I quote, "yeah, tall girls can't be picky can they?"

Nuff said.
Morgan Slightlights: harry - starlingslightlights on October 3rd, 2003 05:29 pm (UTC)
That's horrible. Horriblehorriblehorrible. Good for you, telling those types where to go.

(Got here via nmalfoy.)
blackeyed_girl on October 3rd, 2003 08:36 pm (UTC)
I wish I could say I'm surprised. I'm not, just incredibly disgusted.
Red-headed Step-Childindigosoul on October 4th, 2003 08:51 pm (UTC)
mysoginistic mother f#$&ers!!!
I am so utterly horrified....i was reading this with my jaw on the floor. It made me ill. But you know what-karma will get them in the end. For their horrible mistreatment and abuse of another human being, they will pay for it one way or another. Funny thing, karma. :)
I have to agree with the comments above, i know many insecure, self-loathing, esteem deprived thin girls, and they feel just as used and preyed upon as the "big" girls. As women, we're just under so much pressure about how we look. It's the mysoginistic male that is the issue here, the foul, vile man who preys on women like they're game on an animal preserve-solely for sport and self gratification. It's sick. I found it especially disgusting the way they talked about the girls they were preying on-these guys sound bitter, pathetic and emotionally stunted. Why would you prey on someone like that-using they're self esteem against them, plying them with alcohol,-it's no different than taking advantage of the elderly, handicapped or mentally challenged-you're using their weakness to your advantage. I was so angry and shocked at this article when i finished it, i just didnt know what to do. I believe that what goes around comes around...and one day they'll get their come-uppance. It sounds like these guys cant get dates anyway...they've gotta go out in a pack and hit on drunk girls...how classy. Also, those girls might be fat, but they can diet-ugly and stupid are forever. Fuckers (pardon my language).
I come from a family with a propensity for being overweight, thru some stroke of luck i dont have that problem-but i work out a lot to maintain it-2 hrs a day 5-6 days a week....but most of my family members are overweight,and my best friends K-12 were very big girls, but i dont care, i never have...i am horrified that people are so cold, cruel and calculating-it horrifies me that these creeps could be looking at one of my friends or family members this way. Even though it was upsetting, thank you for sharing this article. If i ever hear a man i know talking this way, you can bet your arse I'll say something that will shut him up for a good long time.