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15 March 2003 @ 05:02 pm
Would you please stop staring at my tits? -.-  
That goes into the "Things I probably should've said but didn't" pile. -.-


You see, I went swimming today. This most likely does not seem like a big deal to most of you, but for someone like me, whose body is looked upon as disgusting by the majority of the population, I still have issues appearing in public in a swimsuit. Granted, my issues are significantly better than they used to be, but hey, I'm still human. Add to that the fact that my swimsuit is a number of years old (this is my one-piece - the bikini is just not a good idea for swimming laps, it tends to move as it's really too big for me now), and doesn't, ahem, cover me properly, and it was less than thrilling. To keep my nether regions from showing to the world, I had to pull the suit down so far that I had MAJOR cleavage showing. Grr argh. I really want to buy a new suit - I even have it picked out - I just can't afford it right now. -.-

At any rate, I went and bought my 10-swim card and went in to the locker room (note to self: buy lock for locker before next time), put my stuff away and then went out to the pool. It was filled with children. There were two pools - one with kiddie stuff to play with and a waterslide, and a lap pool. There were signs up that you had to be 16 or older to be in the lap pool, but I guess because it was Saturday the lifeguards weren't enforcing that, which was annoying as hell.

I put my towel down and then went to get into the pool, which was not all that easy as it was the sort of entrance that had the steps dug into the side of the pool rather than actual steps. I was fairly worried about getting out again, but figured I'd deal when I came to that.

So now I'm in the pool, and there's this kid of about 15 STARING at me. Oi. I smile at him and then start my laps. The kid sorta follows me a bit and then when I get to about midway across the pool stops. Okaaaaay. This continues with each lap, to the point where it's creeping me out because he keeps grinning at me and seems to be waiting for me when I get to his end of the pool each time. -.- I try to avoid him but it's rather impossible. I later see his father signing to him, and then physically carrying him from the pool - he was obviously deaf and somewhat mentally challenged, so I feel rather badly for being creeped out by him. -.-

I need to stop and catch my breath with each lap; I haven't done any sort of real exercise in a very long time, and this is a lot for me. My form sucks, but oh well - I'm getting a workout. I think I did 11 laps, which I suppose isn't a lot but I thought was decent for my first time. Then I managed to climb out (not easily, I'm sure I looked like a lumbering hippo -.-) and as a reward, I went and sat in the hot tub for about 15 minutes. I then went and got dressed, eschewing a bra as trying to get one on while wet is just about impossible.

So, I'm rather proud of myself. The pool is open until 10 pm on weeknights, so I think I'm going to try to go after work a couple of times this week and see if that's better - there shouldn't be kids that late. Hopefully there won't be too many weird adults staring at me as I do my pathetic attempts at laps, either. -.- Now I just wonder how achy I'm going to be tomorrow...
 
 
I feel: tiredtired
I hear: 99 Luft Balloons - Nena
 
 
 
Zorac: reunionzorac on March 15th, 2003 03:11 pm (UTC)
Re: Would you please stop staring at my tits?
*pouts* Do I have to?

Go you with the exercise, though.
Vicki: MWAHhermorrine on March 15th, 2003 03:13 pm (UTC)
Re: Would you please stop staring at my tits?
*giggles* That was not aimed at you and you know it. You get to stare all you like.

And encouragement is definitely a good thing.
Teesside Snog Monster: nasalleyjiggery_pokery on March 15th, 2003 03:23 pm (UTC)
Well, if you had said it, he probably wouldn't have understood you. :-(

11 laps is a lot! I can barely swim ten metres (one width of a small pool) on a good day. They say that swimming is some of the best exercise you can get, so do keep it up - both of you! :-)
Vicki: Dariahermorrine on March 15th, 2003 08:18 pm (UTC)
Well, if you had said it, he probably wouldn't have understood you. :-(

Quite. Although I didn't know that 'til much later, of course.

11 laps is a lot! I can barely swim ten metres (one width of a small pool) on a good day.

Ah, but you can walk all over the place and not have to worry about collapsing. If I had to trade, I would. :( But I'm hoping that the exercise will eventually help with the walking getting easier. *hugs* Thank you for the encouragement!
leiabelle: dancing calvinleiabelle on March 15th, 2003 03:26 pm (UTC)

Bravo! Well done with the swimming. More than I've done in a while...
Vicki: OH Yeahhermorrine on March 15th, 2003 08:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Now to keeping up with it...
Toby Malfoy: elijah eyetobymalfoy on March 15th, 2003 03:43 pm (UTC)

I haven't been swimming in ages. -.-
Vicki: MWAHhermorrine on March 15th, 2003 08:19 pm (UTC)
We will all go swimming at Nimbus. >:D
intellectual pepperyeleveninches on March 15th, 2003 05:04 pm (UTC)
\:D/
Vicki: OH Yeahhermorrine on March 15th, 2003 08:20 pm (UTC)
>:D
Yohannon: Manic Manyohannon on March 15th, 2003 07:15 pm (UTC)
Stares At Morri's Tits With Abandon
I remember those tits well. If I saw you at the pool at the age of fifteen, *I* sure as hell would be staring. Probably afraid to get out of the pool, too... the dreaded pup-tent effect, as it were.

Congrats!!!

Hugs,

~Y~
Vicki: Nas Alleyhermorrine on March 15th, 2003 08:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Stares At Morri's Tits With Abandon
*facepalms*

You're incorrigible, you know that?

And thanks. *hugs*
putting 'costumed vigilante' as my occupationtartanshell on March 15th, 2003 08:42 pm (UTC)
Hey, congrats!
I hate swimming in public, too. (Talk about feeling like a fish in a fishbowl...) Good for you for going!

(I am jealous of the hot tub, though. When I'm rich and famous, that's the first thing I'm buying!) ;)

And good luck finding kid-free time at the pool. I know how annoying it is to have them splashing all over the place and getting in the way when you're trying to swim...
Vicki: Happy Happy!hermorrine on March 16th, 2003 01:18 pm (UTC)
Re: Hey, congrats!
Thanks! :D

And you know, it all depends on where you live. EVERYONE in California has a hot tub - it's so common out there it's amazing. But I agree - in my dream home there will be one - most likely in the master bath, a huge thing that you have to step down into - I saw one like that once and I WANT. *dreams*
putting 'costumed vigilante' as my occupationtartanshell on March 16th, 2003 08:50 pm (UTC)
Re: Hey, congrats!
Oh, wow. I didn't know that about California. No fair! ;)

I'm in northeastern Nebraska, and I'd want mine outside, so that I could go out in the winter at night and look at the stars and the snow...and still be warm. :) But yours sounds nice, too! It'd be so awesome to have a huge hot tub for your bathtub...

Of course, I'd settle for having the prefects' bathroom in my house, too. ;)
Rhiannon AKA Meganrhiannon333 on March 15th, 2003 10:13 pm (UTC)
Good on you for doing 11 laps! Yay! And I am sure it will get easier as you do it more often. With my hip joints so messed up, I too need to swim as exercise, so I can relate to this - and am proud of you for starting a program, and starting it so well. *applauds*
Vicki: Nas Alleyhermorrine on March 16th, 2003 01:19 pm (UTC)
Awww, thanks! I have a bad knee and bad back and have trouble walking, so swimming is really good for me as it takes the pressure off those areas. I was actually surprised at what a workout it was!
Pervy Hoodie Fancier: JoChen SmileGirldancingrain on March 16th, 2003 12:20 am (UTC)
*stares with cheeky abandon*

We've done some fat-positive beach actions here, had a cadre of fat chicks go swimming together to be visible and to feel safe. It's rocked, and we've had some very positive (and a few less-so) experiences.

Hurray to you for doing this - I know how tough it must have been, and it's a great step to take. Emotionally too, I bet. Swimming can be freeing in so many ways.
Vicki: MWAHhermorrine on March 16th, 2003 01:23 pm (UTC)
*stares with cheeky abandon*

*grins and poses*

We've done some fat-positive beach actions here, had a cadre of fat chicks go swimming together to be visible and to feel safe. It's rocked, and we've had some very positive (and a few less-so) experiences.

Yes, we did a few things like that when I was doing the size acceptance stuff back in San Diego. It certainly does help when you can go with other people, but right now I don't know anyone else here who'd go, so I have to find my own strength.

Hurray to you for doing this - I know how tough it must have been, and it's a great step to take. Emotionally too, I bet. Swimming can be freeing in so many ways.

Thank you! I definitely need the encouragement - it's so easy to keep putting it off and saying oh, I'll go the next day - until the next day never comes. But right now - despite the fact that I am in a bit of pain - I'm actually looking forward to going again. Hopefully that won't change before Tuesday, my intended day to go.


Pervy Hoodie Fancierdancingrain on March 16th, 2003 01:36 pm (UTC)
Re:
will be sure to send you extra strength and confidence vibes on Tuesday, then :D
oddree on March 16th, 2003 01:43 am (UTC)
Swimming
Go you!
It's difficult to get motivated about exercise. I hate the first time (for a while) at the pool/gym. Everyone around me at the pool always seems so fit and tanned, they can all wear bikinis (although the girls don't tend to fill them all that well) and their costumes are flattering. They don't have to stop and splutter at the end of each lap like I do (I can't swim any more than a lap at a time because nobody taught me to swim so I don't have a proper technique).
Swimming makes me so self-aware and I feel so vulnerable and exposed. I reassure myself that "maybe when I lose a little more weight" I'd be happier going swimming, but it isn't true.
Well done for taking the first step, I still can't. You're a stronger person than me.

-oddree
Vicki: Dariahermorrine on March 16th, 2003 01:26 pm (UTC)
Re: Swimming
*hugs* It's not easy, no, but maybe you can convince John to go with you? You might find that being with a supportive friend would make all the difference.

And don't be so down on yourself - remember how much older I am than you. It's taken me YEARS to get to this level of self-confidence - I definitely was not always like this, and I still have plenty of days when I have little confidence to speak of. Give yourself the credit for the things that you ARE doing and don't be so down about the things you aren't ready to tackle yet. *hugs more*
lorelore on March 17th, 2003 02:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Swimming
There *is* something more vulnerable about swimming than other forms of workout, isn't there? I guess it's the difference between wearing baggy sweats and form-fitting lycra. But it's oh-so-good for you, especially if you have lots of weight or joint problems.

May I humbly make a few suggestions? I look about like Morri does, only not nearly as well put together, and have been swimming for about a year now.

First, I had to find a swimsuit I could live with, and that definitely meant covering as much flesh as possible. I like this suit, and in case the link doesn't work, it's an Aquatard, which is one piece and looks like an abbreviated wetsuit:
http://www.junonia.com/cgi-bin/sgin0102.exe?SRCCODE=&FNM=00&T1=101440+BLACK+0X&UID=2003031715540197&UREQA=1&UREQB=7

It still shows off my fleshy arms, but my very scary bottom is amply covered. Built-in shelf bra even kinda works! Price for this has been going down, yay, and, although it IS pricey, is worth every penny to me. I was never a skirt kinda gal...

If you have a YMCA, use it. That's where "real" people tend to work out. I see a lot of people like me there, which really helps when you feel out of your element. However, my opinion only applies to YMCAs in smaller cities and towns. Then again, in the Big City you have trendy places like Balleys and LA Weight Loss as competition, so maybe the beautiful people go there instead and the YMCA would still have more, um, non-image-conscious people?

As for my work-out, I don't even bother with freestyle laps. I'm a little afraid of not seeing where I am going when I have to share a lane, and I was never a great freestyler back in the day either. I use a kickboard to give my legs a workout and I aquajob to give my arms and legs a workout. Don't watch the little old ladies to learn to aquajog; have an instructor show you how to do it. The LOLs tend to go pretty easy. I flail all over the place, but, boy, can my arms feel it the next day. Aquajogging and kickboard also sometimes allow me to not get my hair very wet if I can get a side lane, which is a gawdsend in the winter when it's freezing. I see lots of people alternating kickboard, freestyle and aquajogging, just to keep from getting bored.

And, finally, for Morri, if the rules say the kids have to stay out of the lap area, say something to the lifeguard before you even get in. My Y is very good about policing the children and we all know the first lane is open to children at any time, while the other lanes are sacred. It sounds like your lifeguards need to be reminded of the rules.

I hope I helped a little here, oddree, instead of just sounding like a pompous swimming goddess, which I am not. I haven't been in a month now, but I haven't given up yet. :)

love, lore
Vickihermorrine on March 17th, 2003 02:44 pm (UTC)
Re: Swimming
I'm getting my suit from Junonia too, and we have to keep in mind that Odd is in the UK, so I don't know if they have Ys there.

And what is this "I look like Morri but not as well put together" nonsense??
oddree on March 18th, 2003 07:35 am (UTC)
Re: Swimming
What is US size 14?? I know UK and US sizes are different, you see. And Junonia swimsuits start at size 14 US sizes.

Also, I will try and find someone to swim with, but John is definitely not that person.

John is (and he will admit it himself), the laziest person in the history of the world. Okay, so that might be extreme. His weight loss is down solely to Atkins and has nothing to do with exercise. He is rarely even willing to walk to the video store to get a DVD. He hardly leaves the house voluntarily at all.
But once he is out the house, he is fine and is willing to walk places. It's getting him motivated to actually leave the house and the computer that's the problem. I'm sure once he is working, if there is a gym nearby, he will go there to exercise. But only because it is on his way and he has already left the house that day. As a student, he rarely has any need to leave the house, so Jonny-exercise regimes are doomed here.

I'm not being down on my Jonny, though. His dieting is going wonderfully well, and he is an excellent flatmate. He just needs more exercise, that's all. His heart and lungs will really thank him for it later.

-odd

Vickihermorrine on March 18th, 2003 10:17 am (UTC)
Re: Swimming
According to this site: http://www.uq.net.au/~zzdonsi/standards.html, you add 2 to the US size to get the UK equivalant, so a US 14 would be a UK 16, and so on. Which means I wear a size 34 in the UK. Bah. -.-

And I know that John is not so into exercise, and I can understand - I have to make myself do it, too, even though I do like to swim. But I'd definitely rather be online or reading or a number of other things.
dejaspirit on March 19th, 2003 04:56 pm (UTC)
Re: Swimming
Is the rs.org Morrigan? You are adorable!!!! Rockin' my curves as well girlfriend, never been smaller than a size 10 US. *Big Hugs cutie. And I'm feelin' you on the whole exercise thing. Do not enjoy it. Not at all. (But I always say even a dog likes a little meat on their bones.)
Vicki: Happy Happy!hermorrine on March 19th, 2003 09:50 pm (UTC)
Re: Swimming
Yes, I am indeed the Morrigan from RS.org. :> Awww, thanks for saying I'm adorable! *blushes* I wouldn't mind going swimming more often if it weren't such a hassle, you know? But until I'm rich and have a pool in the backyard... lol And I agree - I think most dogs prefer some meat. ;)