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08 February 2003 @ 09:40 pm
Well THAT was unexpected.  
In what has got to be the strangest set of comments EVER, I seem to have gotten married to Toby AND turned him straight.

Sadly, Toby seems to have missed out on the important things when it comes to a marriage. For one, I did not get a decent marriage proposal! One minute we're having wild LJ sex and the next starcrossedgirl has married us.

Where is the romance?! Where are the wine and roses and whispered sweet nothings? Where, I ask you?

And then there's the fact that I have no ring. HELLO?! The ring is rather important. As a hint, I'll let you know that I like opals, not diamonds.

I mean, honestly - do I look that cheap and easy to you? If you want to marry a woman of my quality you have to work at it. I have no problem with the sex or any of that, but marriage... that's a big deal. Not to mention I'm sure that Toby would want me to take his name, and have you SEEN his last name?? I just don't know.

Love's a wonderful thing, as Michael Bolton once said, but let's not lose sight of the important things here. Any men think they can do better than Toby? I'm willing to be fought over.
 
 
I feel: hyperhyper
I hear: Groove Is in the Heart - Deelite
 
 
 
closed: <3andrush on February 8th, 2003 08:10 pm (UTC)

What about women?
Vicki: Dariahermorrine on February 9th, 2003 09:31 am (UTC)
I thought you had a girlfriend!
alive isn't sad // it is when it's overdramaturgy on February 8th, 2003 08:47 pm (UTC)
I could beat him up for you.
Vicki: OH Yeahhermorrine on February 9th, 2003 09:34 am (UTC)
Naaah, if it comes to that I can take him.
alive isn't sad // it is when it's overdramaturgy on February 9th, 2003 11:36 am (UTC)
Re:
Just offering, sister dear. ;)
Deiter, of the German Popefuckers.: b0b 0wn0rz j00alkaloid on February 8th, 2003 10:16 pm (UTC)
@_@
wankersore on February 8th, 2003 11:26 pm (UTC)
i like opals, too. <3
dinahrae on February 9th, 2003 01:42 am (UTC)
Strange is GOOD!!! *steals the Morri & Toby figures off the cake*
Toby Malfoytobymalfoy on February 9th, 2003 05:03 am (UTC)

Cake??! There is supposed to be a cake too??

*sweatdrop*

My, this straight thing turns out to be quite stressful.
dinahrae on February 9th, 2003 05:05 am (UTC)
Re:
*quickly bakes a virtual cake* Here it is. It's big. And... violet, because that fits. *gets the chainsaw to cut it*
Vicki: Pissed!Ginnyhermorrine on February 9th, 2003 09:32 am (UTC)
Oh for pity's sake! Yes there is supposed to be a cake of many layers with different flavors and pretty decorations!

You really need to work at this.
Toby Malfoy: bunniestobymalfoy on February 9th, 2003 05:07 am (UTC)

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY LAST NAME??!

>:0!!
Vicki: MWAHhermorrine on February 9th, 2003 09:30 am (UTC)
It's rather... unusual, dear. But that's allright - it's shorter than my current one, so that helps.
Gregpetulans on February 9th, 2003 01:51 pm (UTC)
Well, if you want romance I’m perfectly happy to spirit you away from the evil clutches of Toby, who I happen to know to be messing around when your back is turned, and carry out an illicit affair with you. When Toby gets wind of this he’ll have no choice but to terminate this rather dodgy and very likely illegitimate marriage and then you and I can have a perfect white wedding, complete with church, chapel and biscuits to dunk.
Vicki: Dariahermorrine on February 9th, 2003 04:20 pm (UTC)
Hmmm, that certainly sounds good, but will there be lots of sex as well?
Gregpetulans on February 9th, 2003 06:47 pm (UTC)
But of course. Where would be the fun in it without sex? Well, there's long talks beside the fireplace, but they really do have to evolve into something else, and as I seem to have lost and skill at scrabble which I might once have posessed...
Vicki: OH Yeahhermorrine on February 9th, 2003 07:06 pm (UTC)
Hmm, perhaps I should rephrase.

Will there be lots of sex with me?

Because if not, I can find a good cock or two for you to suck.
Gregpetulans on February 9th, 2003 07:50 pm (UTC)
*pointedly not saying anything about the offer of good cocks to suck* You're already accusing me of infidelity? Before we're even married? Before we've even eloped? Sigh - life is hard indeed.
Vicki: MWAHhermorrine on February 9th, 2003 07:55 pm (UTC)
Actually, I wasn't accusing you of infidelity, I was merely testing your recent resolution to straightness. *offers breasts to see what you'll do with them*

And there are cocks to be had, OH yes. Maybe you're bi?
Gregpetulans on February 9th, 2003 08:25 pm (UTC)
Bi? My dear, I'm straight as an arrow - a particularly well-crafted, straight arrow. *fondles breasts whilst speaking*
Vickihermorrine on February 9th, 2003 08:31 pm (UTC)
Well-crafted, hmm? Do you have any proof you can offer of this? Sadly, the only photos I've seen of you were those where you were wearing makeup. That's not particularly straight, so I'm sure you can see my concern.

And a little less kneading would be appreciated - am not bread dough. There's a nice boy. *pets*
Gregpetulans on February 9th, 2003 08:43 pm (UTC)
Equally sadly there are very few non-fandom related photos of me on the web. In fact, the only ones I can think of off the top of my head are rather blurry and involve me in a tux and bow-tie - not sure if they're really appropriate. Of course, I can't use the fandom-inspired photos as they show only my elaborate charade to appear gay.

*strokes breasts gently, tweaking occasionally*
Vickihermorrine on February 9th, 2003 08:55 pm (UTC)
Re:
Well. I have to say I have no idea what to make of you any longer.

Want a blow job?
Gregpetulans on February 9th, 2003 09:46 pm (UTC)
Sorry, I was overcome and fainted.

As for the blowjob, well, I wouldn't say no. Unless, of course, it was being offered by the owners of the freely available cocks.
That's what she said.: ...altricial on February 9th, 2003 09:51 pm (UTC)
Greg...
Gregpetulans on February 9th, 2003 11:33 pm (UTC)
Don't you dare try and split up Morri and I's romance. I know your type, you bitter spinster, you.
That's what she said.: -.-altricial on February 10th, 2003 05:14 am (UTC)

*beats you with eyelash curler*
Gregpetulans on February 10th, 2003 07:08 am (UTC)
*moans*
That's what she said.altricial on February 10th, 2003 10:57 am (UTC)
Re:
Why, I didn't know you cared. ;D
Vicki: MWAHhermorrine on February 9th, 2003 09:51 pm (UTC)
What caused you to faint, exactly?

And the blowjob is being offered by me. Although I still have my doubts about you.
Gregpetulans on February 9th, 2003 11:30 pm (UTC)
It was mainy being overcome that made me faint. It's not a nice experience, I don't suggest that you try it.

And how can you doubt me after all this? I've offered to reshape my life for you, and still you doubt me.
Vicki: can't fight the R/Hhermorrine on February 10th, 2003 04:46 am (UTC)
You state that you were overcome, but not by what.

As gallant as the idea of you reshaping your life for me is, if that isn't what you truly want...

And don't you ever bloody sleep?!
Gregpetulans on February 10th, 2003 07:11 am (UTC)
I… I… can’t talk about the overcoming. It’s all to fresh in my mind, too horrible.

I do want it, more than anything I’ve ever known. My desire is a raging inferno of want and need which I’m powerless to fight – be mine!

As for sleep, nope, not last night.
Vickihermorrine on February 10th, 2003 09:43 am (UTC)
Re:
Well, that's quite the change from when you didn't even want to speak to me on the phone, now isn't it? And at least you didn't say raging hardon.

So if you don't sleep, do you not have a job or school or anything? How old are you, anyway?
Gregpetulans on February 10th, 2003 10:12 am (UTC)
Eep! It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to you! It just felt rather awkward talking to someone I’d never met before, be it in an online or real life capacity, on the phone when someone she does know was in the next room (and wandering around in few enough clothes to make his presence abundantly well known). That and the fact that I’d just walked in the door after a shopping trip (read: hunter-gatherer style search of St. Andrew’s for food and alcohol)! Anyway, I’m sure that I probably would have blurted out something along the lines of “raging hardon” or possibly much worse if I had have stayed on the line much longer – feel thankful that John rescued you when he did!

I do sleep, sometimes. Actually last year I really didn’t until I collapsed in a heap, often on my sofa if I was lucky or a London Underground carriage (whilst standing up on one particularly memorable occasion) if I wasn’t. I’m nineteen and will remain so for longer than I already have done, so I’m actually one of the more ickle ‘grownup’ fandom members. I don’t have a job, nor will I at this rate. However, I do go to university (UCL) where I study Computer Science, amongst other things, when I’m not skiving, partying or reading fanfic.
Vickihermorrine on February 10th, 2003 11:33 am (UTC)
Re:
Uh huh. Well, John is all about rescuing me, this is true.

Nineteen?! Sorry, jailbait, you're too young for me to marry. You want some hot sex, sure, but marriage? No way.
Gregpetulans on February 10th, 2003 12:39 pm (UTC)
You wrong me, madam. If you insist on ending our courtship, I shan’t complain. However, I will forever hold you in the highest regard, fair lady.
Vickihermorrine on February 10th, 2003 01:06 pm (UTC)
Re:
Honey, do you know how old I am? Surely you don't want to saddle yourself with an old crone like me.
Zoraczorac on February 9th, 2003 04:18 pm (UTC)
Hah! Let this lot fight over you on LiveJournal! I shall go for the far more intimate Y!Ming...
Vickihermorrine on February 9th, 2003 04:23 pm (UTC)
Intimate is right.... *fans self*