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23 June 2006 @ 03:14 pm
Can't live my life this way...please let me know - and put my mind at ease for sure.  
Things finally came to a head this morning. I burst into tears at work. I can't do this anymore.

On top of the emotional turmoil going on fandom-wise (and no, I'm not responding to anymore comments on Heidi's post; I'm not going to talk about how I feel or make any declarations to anyone I don't consider a friend, but if I see one more post about 'Oh, poor msscribe's friends' I might lose it entirely. Stop fucking presuming how I or anyone else feels or doesn't feel.), the following has happened this week:

- my mother had surgery (she seems to be doing all right so far, for the 2% of you reading this that actually give a damn).
- work has been horrible, absolutely insane in terms of how much I've had to do and the difficulty of the issues - and wanky itself. It's so horrific that I can't talk about it on LJ, not even locked. If you want to know and you know how to reach me... yeah.
- No interviews. Will be living in my car in less than 2 months.
- Ruined two pairs of jeans.

I'm turning off comments because there isn't anything for anyone to say here. You want to talk to me, find me on a messenger or email me. I'm not looking for sympathy and I'm not going to delete my LJ or any of that. I just needed to get it all out.

I haven't been drunk in 4 or 5 years, but it's sounding really appealing right about now.
 
 
I feel: crushedcrushed